Out in the Boondocks

Growing up in New York State we took the town structure for granted. It was not until I moved away that I realized its peculiarities. Monroe County, a typical NY county is divided into towns (and villages and a city). The City of Rochester ("the hub of Monroe County") is surrounded by towns and villages. Each town is a small political entity unto itself with elected officials, school system, police and fire departments, etc. Some towns had central areas - commercial centers or town centers. Once you get away from this town structure you realize just how expensive it is to duplicate all these services so many times for such small populations. Chili, like other second ring towns, was a little different. On the west side of Rochester, once removed from the city limits (by the town of Gates), it was the boondocks in the 50's. Not populated enough to support its own town services, it shared a high school with Gates (Gates-Chili High School), and another with Churchville (Churchville-Chili HS), and it did not have its own police force.

On entering Chili heading west on Chili Avenue, there is a sign that says "Welcome to Chili -- Home of Little Guy Soccer".  I have no idea what Little guy soccer was/is. I know I never heard of soccer until I was in high school and even then it was a sport that had a "foreign" aura... coached by guys with European accents.

Besides the Grange, Chili had little to offer in terms of teenage activities in the 60's. Chili Center had a library, baseball fields, and ice-skating rink. There were no stores except for a supermarket and drugstore. Westgate plaza was a mecca for us westsider tweens and teens but it was a couple of miles away so we couldn't just hang around there. Maybe the best hangout was Olympic Park on Scottsville Road. There was an old amusement park, bowling alley and most importantly, a pool hall -- and that is where we spent a lot of guy-time from about 8th to 12th grade. I think it used to cost $1.50/hour and the tables were bigger than anyone (we knew) had in their homes.

The Grange

During the 60's there were a lot of dances. They were mostly at schools, but sometimes at other venues most of which have faded from memory. But one place we went to a LOT was the Chili Grange. There were dances there with live bands on Friday nights and Sunday afternoons. The building was somewhere out in the country and even before we could drive, we somehow got a ride or hitched a ride.  The only thing I knew about the Grange was that it was some kind of meeting place for farmers. The building had steps in front leading up to the front doors and inside the doors a big open room, maybe the size of a basketball court. In front was a stage and I think there were some side doors towards the front of the hall. Below, with access from the parking lot was another floor where I seem to recall refreshments were served during the breaks.

The great thing about the Grange dances is that, unlike school dances, they were not chaperoned - there were no adults in sight - a place for teens. Nothing very weird happened but there were no adults to tell you how you should be dancing or not to smoke. Drinking wasn't allowed in the building.

The bands were sometimes the biggest draw of all. The only one I thought I remembered was The Invictas - although the names of other bands which were probably comparable just slipped from memory. I found this little note  which mentions a few more bands (Showstoppers, Herd, etc) which I certainly remembered when I read their names.

In the summer, the place was packed and sweltering and often on Sundays it was all but empty. When popular bands played, there would be a stampede to get in through the narrow front doors. All kinds of kids from all over the city would attend the Grange dances. That's part of what made them so different and exciting. It was the kind of place girls, in order to attend, might have to invent stories for their parents. But in looking back..... it was pretty tame - just an atmosphere of freedom from any watchful eyes and a chance to listen to loud rock and roll music.

One thing we never took notice of as teenagers was the Grange cemetery out back. (This cemetery link includes the location of the building as well.)

What do they mean "Don't want for anything" ?

Bear with me while I digress now and then from life in Chili - I might use the blog to write a few things about how growing up in Chili shaped my thinking.

Sometimes when people hear the Zen goal of ridding themselves of "wants" people react (especially the more goal-oriented ones) by saying that it doesn't make sense not to have any ambition in life and other such things.  I think the message is often lost in the loose way the words like "wants", "goals", "desires", "ambitions" are interchanged in thinking about this concept. For me the message has mostly to do with "needs". It is one thing to want to achieve a goal in life.... it is quite another to need any one thing to make ourselves at peace in the world. Goals are fine, but what stresses us and makes us suffer is when those goals turn into obsessions or needs without which we feel lost or sad or non-contributing.

By releasing ourselves from needs we can more easily accept and appreciate what it is we already have.

What is advertising? Creating wants - that's okay, just don't let them become needs. I don't need a Corvette even though I'd like to have one. Wanting can be fun, but needing isn't.

The commandments used an interesting term...do not covet....don't make it a need. Sure, your neighbor has a cool TV and it would be nice to have such a thing.....but don't covet it, don't turn it into a need because then life is out of balance.

The Beatles sing "I Want You...I want you so bad it's driving me mad". That's okay, just don't let it become a need because then someone is liable to get hurt.

Wanting is part of life, needing is part of suffering, also part of life, but something some strive to lessen.

As the saying goes: It's not about having what you want but wanting what you have.

Hasta luego.