Breaking Up

"Breaking up is hard to do". Neil Sedaka
"Breaking up is never easy I know". ABBA

     I was thinking about breakups. I've had a few going back to Chili days. I guess most people suffer them (or cause them) maybe multiple times and, yeah, usually they are hard on one or both parties in some way. But I have come to look at them differently lately. The thing is, when there is a breakup there is a choice by someone to go in another direction, for whatever reason. Isn't knowing the truth something we should be thankful for?  Who wants to pine for a relationship the other has discarded? So why hurt?
     Hurting over another's choice seems wasteful. We should feel grateful to know the truth and get on with living this new truth. Now there might be sadness in the breakup but isn't that better than living in a false relationship?  
     And breakups don't just happen between couples, they can happen between friends too. Again, they happen when something is not right enough for someone. In either case, one might be grateful they are still not in the middle of an unbalanced partnership.

     But what about relationships that don't break up? Again, there are several kinds. Some stay active forever. Some are less active due to circumstances but they stay alive nonetheless - there but for the circumstances of life.
      It seems a lot healthier to focus on the relationships that are alive. Instead of pining or being pined for, everyone is better off admitting that we are not good fits with everyone and to appreciate the relationships that we have that live on, be they daily or rarely active.
 
       As for all the grief and moping we ever might have caused or carried, here's to letting it go in gratitude that we either freed or were freed from a debilitating imbalance. (And that's not to say there might be good memories about the times when things were still in balance.)

When Did SPX School Open?

     It is always a treat to visit Rochester. This year I had a little excursion to Chili. I saw the burned out St. Pius X Church...a sad sight. One thing I noticed might come as a surprise to newcomers to SPX. There used to be a path that led from the school to Ranchmar. The kids who lived in Ranchmar used it to go home for lunch (while others had to eat at school) and everyone used it as the way to go to Ranchmar to play. Well, the path is gone! Beside the church there is now a parking lot and a field of grass that ends in a forest wall of trees. You would never know of the baseball fields that existed nor the short cut to Ranchmar. I guess we should all take pictures of everything because everything eventually will change.
     As for the school itself, I checked to see that the cornerstone was laid in 1959. Now September 1959 was the year the class of '64 would have entered 4th grade. Going into this trip I was almost sure we had come to the new school (from St Feehan's) at the start of 3rd grade because I have no memory of 3rd Grade at St Feehan's. However, two reliable members of the class of '66 assured me they went to the first grade at St Feehan's. Easy going guy that I am I might have taken their word for it except that while visiting a reliable source in Chili, this source being one of the founding members of St Pius X, she showed me a newspaper clipping from August 2, 1957 showing the removal of the stained glass windows of St Feehan's and saying that the new school would be open to one class in the fall of that year and would be open to five classes the following year! If that were true, we would have started at the new school in September 1958! With this hard evidence I had to believe my memory had been correct......but it was two against one and the '66ers were much more sure of their memories of being at St Feehan's in 1958-59 that I was in my lack of memory of  being there.
       So the mystery persists. Did one class open the school in 1957? When did all the classes move in? Comments are welcome and I guess history will have to abide by the majority vote (unless of course someone offers even better proof than I thought I had on the matter! -- a class picture perhaps?!).

Two More Poems

These two poems were composed in Cenci, Italy in 2001.
I share them here for all those we carry within us even though we don't see them anymore.


Separated by Time

You leave the nest to seek adventure in life,
Believing it is out there, in some other place.
If I were a bird, I'd sing, saluting your departure,
Your triumphant flight.
Then I would settle in my nest, and wait awhile.
In time, I would make the journey to your new land.
I would build a new nest, made of twigs and leaves familiar to you.
Then I would settle in my new nest, and wait awhile.
In time I would come to sing for you, to you; at dawn, at dusk.
Eventually you might recognize me
And I would offer to share my nest with you.



Separated by Space

If I were a bird, I would build a fine nest outside your home.
If you would allow me, I would build my nest from
     the feathers of your pillow,
     the threads of your clothes,
     the hair from your brush.
I would watch to see that you were safe and well and happy.
If you were, I'd sing for you.
If you were not, I'd come closer and sing for you.
I would use my wings to brush away any tears of sadness you cried.
And when you were gone, I'd set perch on your headstone;
Eternally.
Finally.

RIP Sister Walter Anne

  Last month I learned that Sister Walter Anne had recently died at 90+ years of age. Some folks who met with her last summer told me they had a wonderful visit remembering the early days of St. Pius X school. As far as I can recall she was the first principal of the school. By the time the class of '64 reached 8th grade she was no longer teaching but I think she was still the principal. I don't really have any personal memories of her, I just remember her tall presence in all the school activities during the first half the sixties. Maybe someone can add a comment if they have any warm memories.
   I know that schools no longer have the services of nuns for teaching like they did 50 years ago. I suppose we could have had more strictly trained teachers…but I'm not sure we could have had more dedicated or helpful teachers and therefore any better teachers. It's kind of amazing to think of these women, dedicating themselves to teaching children, without the distractions felt by so many elementary school teachers today.

New Blog -- Oriole Science Guy

Instead of mucking up the Chili site with my techie escapades, I'm going to write them on my new blog at Oriole Science Blog.

Hope this serves all interests :)

P.S. I'll be moving such blogs from this site to make it more single themed.

A poem to share

Dedicated to all those we knew growing up who have gone before us.

Japanese Maple by Clive James

Your death, near now, is of an easy sort.

So slow a fading out brings no real pain.

Breath growing short

Is just uncomfortable. You feel the drain

Of energy, but thought and sight remain:

Enhanced, in fact. When did you ever see

So much sweet beauty as when the rain falls

On that small tree

And saturates your brick back garden walls,

So many Amber Rooms* and mirror halls?

Ever more lavish as the dusk descends

This glistening illuminates the air.

It never ends.

Whenever the rain comes it will be there,

Beyond my time, but now I take my share.

My daughter’s choice,the maple tree is new.

Come autumn and its leaves will turn to flame.

Amber Room

What I must do

Is live to see that. That will end the game

For me, though life continues all the same:

Filling the double doors to bathe the eyes,

A final flood of colors will live on

As my mind dies,

Burned by my vision of a world that shone

So brightly at the last, and then was gone.

The New Yorker September 14, 2014

* Check out "Amber Room" on Wikipedia for picture and interesting history