Record Cold September 25, 1963

     I read yesterday that the record low temperature in Rochester for 25 September was 30 degrees in 1963. It made me think about afternoons after school on those (evidently chilly in Chili) autumn days. We were always out and about either at someone's house, maybe playing basketball, or just walking around in small groups with nowhere to go. This activity usually lasted from after school until dinner time which by October meant until it was getting dark. Memorably, for a boy in the SPX class of '64,  Fall 1963 was the first time that girls might have been included in our activities so there was a whole new (awkward) dimension beyond home court basketball games. It might even include "walking with a girl" (if the crowd dispersed in a certain way so only you two were left) and such walks might have produced first glimpses of a whole new world that was on the horizon. Although it is easy to recall some of the happy days of those times, I sure don't remember the record cold days.

Prime Rib

     You know you're back in Rochester when you go out to a family restaurant and you can order prime rib with a baked potato. It feels good to be back.

Past and Present

    Things we remember, positive or negative, don't exist anymore, and that's neither good nor bad.

  In  "Cold Mountain" Ruby reestablishes a relationship with her father who treated her terribly when she was little. They end up happy in the present rather than living by old resentments. She is able to forgive if not forget the past...to let it go... to let the present be instead of the no longer existent past.

 Sometimes we treat something that happened in the past as part of the present, when actually what happened, for better or worse, is no more. Be it a happy or sad event, a relationship that thrilled us or killed us, these things happened, they shaped us, and we went on. We don't have to forget them, they do exist as part of the past, we just need to give them their proper place. We are shaped by these things, these people, but we are also shaped by each choice we make today. Maybe the key to balance is to find the proper weight to assign to things past and present. When something in the present is part of a continuum it might merit significant weight. On the other hand, a singular past event might merit less.

 Maybe due to our moods or circumstances, we might sometimes give past events an overdue weight in the present, allowing them to dominate our present, when in reality, each day is new and we can, if we choose, relegate to yesterday what belongs to yesterday, both the best and the worst of times gone by. I don't mean to demean or trivialize the past, I just mean to say that given the very real finiteness of any lifetime, and the very real power that exists within all of us to continue to shape our own life, it seems only natural to not limit ourselves from experiencing freely the moments we have.

  And so it is with Chili in the mid 20th century. That Chili doesn't exist anymore. We who lived there then share many memories of those days, some good ones and some not so good. For me it is helpful to think about those days and how they helped shape us, along with our choices and and all the experiences we have had since then.

Laughter and Tears

     In a dream, Natasia Gracias kissed me on a river bank. She wore a black dress speckled with white polka dots or daisies or umbrellas... white against black. There was a reception in the background and she was one of three cousins attending. Her real first name was impossible to remember. There were laughter and tears.